


Siempre que llovió, paró

by FirenzeSun



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Frottage, M/M, and lots of rain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 23:30:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10864389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FirenzeSun/pseuds/FirenzeSun
Summary: The different stages of a love story that teaches us that nothing lasts forever. Or like Tony's mum used to say, "Everytime it has rained, it has stopped."





	Siempre que llovió, paró

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ashandcas (ashriddle4)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashriddle4/gifts).



> Dedicated to my friend Ashley. I hope my angst cheers you up.  
> Also, yes, I'm still working on my Black Sails WIP I swear.

The fizzy sound of a beer can being opened broke the silence of the nightly scenery. Below, the glow of the sleeping town was enchanting. It wasn't that the dramas of everyday life disappeared, or that the horrors of a twisted society were forgotten. But rather that everything took perspective and the small gestures of kindness from strangers or friends grew in importance. From there, they could appreciate how the light kept the darkness at bay.

With small gestures, like two friends sharing a beer at a cliff's edge.

"Cheers!" Tony celebrated, holding his beer up.

Clay raised his own beer can in acknowledgement and took his first sip of the night.

They drank for a while in silence, contemplating the town and reflecting in quiet companionship. It was in this cliff, that Tony had shared with him when he had been at his most vulnerable, that Clay felt the closest to him and he felt like, even for a while, he could truly understand his friend.

"It's going to start raining soon," Tony observed, feeling the shift in the air.

"Probably," Clay agreed. But they were both on the first beer, and they needed each other's company, so neither commented further on it.

Tony felt Clay shift his weight next to him, and then, he felt Clay's hand press over his on the hood of the car. Although a pleasant warm sensation travelled through his body, Tony remained quiet, Clay was still moving finding a more comfortable position. But after a while, he realized that Clay hadn't removed his hand, Tony tensed.

As confirmation to that which he didn't dare to hope for, Clay closed his hand over his.

Slowly, Tony turned to look at their hands. "Clay?" he whispered, the vulnerability in his voice speaking of years of held-back passion.

"Yes?" Clay answered teasingly and when Tony finally dared to look up he saw in his friend's face a smile that was both familiar and new.

Tony found himself caught in those blue eyes, falling into their sea but not drowning, no, breathing underwater. He couldn't look away not even when he turned his hand to fully clasp Clay's. He moved extremely slowly closer to Clay, afraid that despite everything he was reading the signs wrong, that he might lose Clay here at this cliff where he already almost lost him once.

When their lips finally touched, if was a bright light behind the confines of his eyelids. The darkness of the world receding. It was arriving at the end of the road and stepping into a new path. A conclusion and a start.

So lost they were in each other, that they didn't notice the rain until they broke away with matching smiles. But looking at each other's eyes the storm didn't matter.

.

Cursing inwardly, Tony raced to his car. Clay had gone away, taking his bike, but he couldn't be far. He had had the mind of grabbing a couple of towels which he threw carelessly to the back seat. He searched around the streets of Clay's neighborhood until he finally spotted the bike.

He rolled down his window, uncaring of the pouring rain on his face, he shouted, "Clay, stop! Get in the car!"

But Clay continued pedaling, lost in his despair.

"Clay, come on you're going to get sick! Come on!"

But Clay either didn't hear him or was ignoring him.

Cursing once more, Tony accelerated passing Clay, and turned off the ignition. Knowing it was dangerous, Tony put himself in front of Clay's path, using his arms and body to stop his friend.

"Tony, what the fuck!" Clay complained from the ground where they had both fallen.

"I could say the same," he replied out of breath, the collision had taken the air from his lungs. "What the hell you think you're doing running off like that in the rain?"

"I had to get away," Clay admitted. They were still tangled on the floor, neither of them had attempted to move. "I- the pain is too much. I just want a break from it."

"Hey," Tony said softly, his heart breaking for Clay's suffering. He straighten them both up, still sitting on the ground, but he didn't let go of Clay's arms. "Hey, my mum had this saying. _Siempre que llovió, paró._ Every time it has rained, it has stopped. I know that now you feel like you are drowning but believe me, this will pass. This storm will go away, Clay," Tony said and he hugged him. Clay accepted the hug, burying his face in Tony's shoulder. Feeling warm despite his soaked clothes, while Tony whispered sweet reassurances in his ear.

After a while, when there were no more tears to mix with the rain drops, Clay spoke. "Speaking of storms, do you think this one will stop anytime soon? I'm cold."

"You duffus, it's your fault for going out like this. Come on, I have towels in the car."

Despite the cold, despite the water on his clothes, Tony regretted having to break the hug. For he would have stayed an hour under the downpour with Clay. But this, this was just comforting a friend, nothing else. And right now, said friend needed to get cover and an opportunity to get dry.

.

Something didn't seem right to Tony when he was about to enter the school's bathroom. There were the sounds of splashing and cruel laughs. Tony knew instantly what was happening, but he was divided about what to do. On one hand, his moral sense urge him to intervene. On the other, the voices of the bullies sounded older and although Tony had experience from sparring with his brothers he doubted that he could emerge victorious from this one.

However, the coughing sounds and the closer voices of the bullies signaled the event as finalized. He decided to wait nonchalantly outside and then rush in to help as he could the poor victim. He was already in a bad mood, as he was whenever he witnessed injustice, but when he saw who was the kid, he became infuriated.

"Clay! What the hell?"

"Hey! It was not my fault!" Clay complained, more injured by his friend's reaction than by having had his head down a toilet.

"Sorry, sorry, I know," said Tony rushing to his side. "It's just- do you want me to tell my brothers? Because I saw who they were and we can teach them all a lesson."

He was really hoping that Clay would say yes because he hated seeing his friend in any kind of distress. But Clay smiled at him, totally throwing Tony off. "Nah, thank you, some things a guy has to face for himself, you know? I can't have you and your brothers fighting all my battles."

While young Tony was in the middle of a stinky school bathroom, with his best friend smiling at him dripping toilet water from his face and hair, he had a revelation. He wouldn't get the full grasp of it until years later but this would always be the moment where it all started. When he saw what a brave and kind soul his friend had.

When he first fell in love with Clay Jensen.

But he was twelve and the moment passed. Although he still had a strange sensation in the back of his gut, there were other pressing matters at hand.

"Come," he said carrying Clay to one of the sinks. He waited until Clay had thrown some clean water on his face before slowly pushing his head under the stream. "At least, next time I'm gonna be there to help you," he claimed, rinsing his friend's hair. Clay started to want to get up to argue but Tony maintained his hands firms. "Just because you gotta do it on your own doesn't mean you gotta do it alone," his voice firm.

He kept massaging Clay's hair until he was satisfied that enough clean water had streamed away the filth. He waited Clay to wash his face once more, and got distracted by the strange new feeling he had. That's why he missed the mischievous glint in Clay's eyes. Clay shook his head, water drops falling like rain over Tony.

"Jensen, you're a dead man!" Tony shouted scandalized. Clay just grinned.

.

He knew he shouldn't. Not when _he_ was the very _reason_ of his current situation. But he needed to be selfish right now. And for once he was the one who needed to be looked after. So he grabbed his phone and wrote five simple words to Clay.

" **Brad broke up with me"**

Knowing his friend he wasn't expecting an answer anytime soon so he was surprised when his phone vibrated in his hand.

" **shit are u ok"**

" **no ofc not. where r u?"**

Tony smiled his mood already lifting up.

" **I was thinking of going for a climb"**

" **oh fuck no"**

" **ok cum to pick me up ill go w u"**

Tony chuckled at his friend's nerdiness.

" **I'm coming but don't say cum"**

" **y not? it saves space"**

" **No. Just don't."**

" **stop texting and driving. its not safe"**

Tony shook his head. He got to Clay's place and they drove in silence to their climbing spot. But what was barely a drizzle when they were driving, had intensified.

"You sure you want to go for a climb?" Clay asked distraught.

"Clay, you really don't have to do this," Tony said clutching to the wheel not meeting his friend's eyes.

"Are you kidding me, right?" and Clay looked offended. "You were there for me all this time and you don't expect me to be there for you when your boyfriend breaks up with you? You were there for me since we were kids to defend me from bullies, you were there for all the stuff with Hannah. The least I can do is be there for you now."

"You don't owe me anything, Clay," and there was such resignation in Tony's voice that all the anger went away from Clay.

"Tony, what we have is a two way street, you know? I'm here for you."

Tony smiled, "I know."

"Besides, you need to tell me why I cannot _cum_ ," Clay said with a devilish smirk.

"Clay!" Tony exclaimed and began to laugh. His sadness slowly lifting up, because right now in his car under the rain with his best friend next to him everything was right in the world.

.

This last couple of weeks Clay had been more clingy than usual, not that Tony was complaining. It was subtle things like at lunchtime Clay would sit closer to him, so their sides were touching. Not so subtle things like when he grabbed his hand in the hallways.

Tony liked it, it made him happy. It gave him hope. He knew it didn't mean more, he knew it was just friendship gestures from Clay. But it gave him hope. Hope that maybe one day they could be more than friends.

They were in the dining room when it first happened.

Clay was sitting next to him, his meal finished, with his head over Tony's shoulder. While Tony finished his sandwich careful not to disturb Clay.

"Hey, look at the faggots!" a jock laughed.

"There are children here!" another exclaimed.

Clay removed himself from Tony's shoulder and looked down at the table, clearly uncomfortable.

"Why you don't mind your own business?" Tony said with anger clearly stirring behind his calmness.

"Oh, what, we've hurt your precious boyfriend's feelings?" the first jock mocked him.

"You really don't want to mess with me," Tony warned him getting up and turning around to face him.

"What are you going to do? Call your brothers for help?" the jock replied, getting closer to him, but he was stopped by a hand in his shoulder.

"He doesn't have to," it was Victor, one of Tony's older brothers, a senior.

The jock glared at Victor before looking back at Tony. "You won't be so tough the next time there aren't your brothers to defend you, sissy," and he left with his friends in tow.

Tony gave his brother a curt nod, which Victor understood and left. Tony sat again but Clay didn't reclaim his position on Tony's shoulder. In fact, he kept away, and the distance that before didn't bother Tony now felt like an iceberg.

"Hey, you okay?" Tony asked. Clay merely nodded.

The next day Clay didn't grab his hand anymore, didn't sit close to him anymore. Nor did he talk much to him. He wasn't talking much before but they had contact. Now, it was as if his best friend had put a wall between them. The rumors didn't help either. Everyone in school now commented how Clay was gay, how he was Tony's boyfriend.

A week later, when he went to Clay's house, his dad answered, and told him he wasn't there.

"He's in therapy, he's feeling a bit down," Mr. Jensen explained. "Do you know if something happened in school?"

"No, Mr. Jensen," Tony lied, his heart breaking. Did really the rumors hurt him that much? Was the prospect of being with him as more than friends so traumatizing to Clay? But what Tony didn't know was that Clay had started therapy a month ago. His depression longer than the rumors.

But no, the rumors didn't help either.

"I'll see him at school then, goodbye, Mr. Jensen."

However, at school, now Tony kept his distance from Clay. They were still friends, but the close companionship was lost. That afternoon, the drizzling weather putting a bigger damp on his mood, he beat the crap out of the jock that had started it all, he thought he would feel better. He didn't.

Instead, he took a resolution. Friends and love didn't mix.

.

They were at Monet's when Clay delivered the news.

"I've got the letter," he said, "they've accepted me."

"That's great!" Tony exclaimed, trying to sound cheerful. He was happy for Clay, he deserved to go to a good college and study something that he was passionate about. He was happy for Clay but he was sad for himself. He knew this would happen. Clay would move on while he remained working at his father's garage.

"Yeah," Clay agreed, but he didn't sound convinced. "Maybe though, I should go to the community college here, it's cheaper and I won't have to move out."

Tony knew was Clay was doing, he was choosing him over his education. But he couldn't let him do that. He'd hated himself for dampening Clay's dream and eventually, Clay would resent him.

"No," he said dryly. "You need to go."

Clay's hurt expression put a tear in Tony's heart. They stared at each other for several moments. They've told each other everything they needed to know. Clay understood. Tony understood. When they looked away, they remained in silence. Words were an extra they didn't need.

"It's still raining," Clay contemplated looking through the window.

"It is," Tony agreed.

.

They were at their cliff, where everything had started. This time they hadn't left the car, as the storm didn't relent. The original plan was to look at the storm, while they had their usual chat about everything and nothing. But they were teenagers, so a few kisses quickly turned into a heavy make out session.

Tony gasped breaking the kiss when Clay suddenly climbed over his lap.

"Clay…" Tony said brokenly while Clay attacked his neck with furious kisses.

Tony was hard, and when he grabbed Clay's ass and pressed him against him, he noticed that Clay was hard too. "Clay, fuck."

"Yeah, that's the general idea," Clay whispered next to Tony's ear.

"Who are you and what have you done to my nerd boyfriend?"

"Very funny," Claid said and bit Tony where his neck and shoulder met.

Tony spasmed, his hips moving up and creating glorious friction. "Fuck."

Tony felt broken. He was enraptured but this dominant and sexy side of Clay. Not that he didn't thought that Clay was hot and attractive before, but this act was dismantling Tony as one of his dad's cars. His macho and suave persona was gone, all he could do was curse and moan under Clay's relentless attack.

He put his hands on Clay's belt. "Is this okay?"

Clay nodded eagerly, so Tony proceeded to unclasp his belt. His hands were shaky, uncoordinated, he felt as if this was his first time. But in many ways it was. It was the first time it really counted, the first time with somebody he loved. His first time with Clay.

When he opened Clay's jean and saw the bulge covered by the thin layer of the boxers, Tony's mouth felt dry.

"Clay," he whispered.

As if he were under a spell, he grabbed Clay's dick and took him out of his boxers. He stayed for a few seconds contemplating it, unable to believe that after all this years he could finally have this.

"Tony, please," Clay begged him, so Tony started to stroke him.

Above him, Clay moaned and whined, his hands digging painfully into Tony's shoulders. Every now and then his hips thrusted into Tony's hand, but otherwise he tried to maintain his hips still trying to focus on the pleasure Tony was giving him.

"Wait," Clay said and Tony freezed. "I want to feel you too."

Tony whimpered, a mix between arousal and relief, as he had believed he had done something wrong. But before he could comply with Clay's request he had to kiss him, to caress him with his tongue and express all that emotion that he was too far gone to express out loud.

He let go of Clay's dick to free his own and then he grabbed them together. They both gasped and cursed. Suddenly, Tony had his mouth invaded by Clay's tongue once more. He kept stroking them together while they kissed. They only broke apart when they had to pant, or when it became too much to keep quiet and they had to moan and curse.

"Tony, Tony, I- I'm close," Clay warned him.

"Fuck, Clay, me too," Tony panted.

Tony managed to feel Clay's semen coat his fingers and see his expression of bliss before he came too with Clay's name on his tongue. He recovered slowly, the first thing he noticed was the sound of the rain on the metal of the car. Then, their shallow breaths. He focused on the feeling of Clay's body over his, the smell of their combined musk.

Tony was being overwhelmed by emotion, his eyes filling with tears. He had to let it out. "Clay," he called, pushing up his boyfriend so he could look him in the eyes. Tony didn't care if Clay couldn't say it back, he had to say it.

"Clay, I love you," and he had never said something as important or true in his entire life.

Clay gave him a beautiful smile, "I love you too, Tony."

In that moment, Tony knew true happiness.

.

The drive to Clay's house was done in silence, the only sound that of the windshield wipes every few minutes. Tony was not in the mood for music. He doubted that he would be in such a mood for a very long time. When he arrived and saw the bags being loaded into the Jensen's family car his heart sunk a bit further. Yet, he didn't cry, not anymore.

"I was afraid you wouldn't come," was Clay's way of greeting him.

For a moment, Tony thought of answering with a clichéd cheeky answer, but they were both past that. However, the truth was too much, because the truth was that Tony's heart was breaking into a million pieces. He wanted to beg him to stay, to choose him above all else, that he could be enough to make him happy. But Tony knew better than that and he loved Clay more than that.

"I had to say goodbye," Tony said instead.

Clay smiled but the sore-red eyes betrayed him. He seemed ready to start crying again and Tony couldn't have that. So he hugged hard and tenderly. "You're going to be a great psychologist," he said in his ear.

Clay held him tight. Neither wanted to let go. It was only the sound of Clay's dad closing the car's trunk that made them break apart. They looked at each other with the reality of what was happening finally sinking in.

"I'll miss you," Clay said holding Tony's face, his voice loaded with desperation.

"Me too," Tony replied and he kissed Clay softly, lovingly and wretchedly. The kiss lasted for an eternity that was far too brief. Tony wanted to say those three words and he wanted to hear them back, but right now they would hurt too much. "Good luck, Clay Jensen, I'll be seeing you," he said because that was better than admitting the truth.

"Come to visit me, okay?" Clay pleaded, as ever grounding them both in reality while at the same time hoping for an utopia.

"I will," Tony lied, he never did things halfway and there was so much heartbreak he could stand.

And then, Clay climbed into the car with his parents and far too soon they were driving away. Tony painfully looked at the love of his life go away. With a shattered soul he realized that the rain had stopped.

.

Their clothes were soaked wet, the wind gave a cold chill to their bodies, but neither of them were in a hurry to move. The exhilaration of their first kiss still ran through their veins. They both knew what it meant, it was more than just getting together than something you liked. They did not believe in fairy tales anymore, whatever remaining illusions they had had died with Hannah. But they still knew that this was an event that would mark their lives.

And maybe, just maybe, while they lied on the Mustang's hood holding hands, they still harbored illusions of what was to come.

"How long do you think it'll be keep on raining?" Clay asked.

"I don't know and I don't care, honestly," Tony answered with a satisfied sigh. "I know that no rain lasts forever, though."

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, but you should really blame Ashley for the angst, because when I was undecided if I had to write angst or fluff she said I was an angst queen so...  
> Also, the phrase "Siempre que llovió, paró" it's technically Argentinian, though it's an adaptation from an older more widespread phrase. But it was made and popularized by an argentinian comedian in the 80s so let's say that Tony's mum watched cheesy bad comedies from Argentina.  
> I could only write this bc in my head a year after Clay leaves, Tony asks his dad for a loan and he sets a mechanic garage in the town Clay is living. I may or may not write it.


End file.
